It'a hard to explain it - but I get it Part 3

Hey there friends! I skipped last week - so sorry. It's been a whirlwind as I adapt to my new schedule - which is always changing btw! AND to be honest, I was a little unsure how I was going to begin my response to Scottijo. So, I'll start from the very beginning. Oh and hey, you get this story, tired.

Back in 2002 I met my now husband Chad and shortly after we started dating he brought me home. Home to a little girls 5th birthday party, to meet his family. I am pretty sure that was the very 1st time I met any of them. I remember us walking into the Country Inn & Suits swimming pool area in Little Falls, and sitting and visiting with his family - Oh and this cute little red headed sweetheart named Scottijo. She was just the cutest little girl and she just glowed. Her smile filled a room. I remember her having a ton of spirit.

Her parents & Grandma welcomed me into the family pretty much immediately. Chad and I spent most weekends at Gram's house and so many suppers, Scottijo & her parents were there. Simple really, but when we think about it, it's those simple things that matter. If it weren't for family dinners, we wouldn't have spent much time together.

Chad and I got married fall of 2004 and things pretty much stayed the same. We saw her each time we were at Gram's house - cuz ya know - family dinner or coffee. It wasn't long before Chad and I became parents to a little girl and then another little girl, it was so fast and so unplanned. Scotti loves babies and played with our girls so well. She loved her time with them. I always knew that if her parents were watching the girls that she would give them lots of good love.

Chad and I worked opposite shifts from each other and so any night we were both home, we pulled the girls in the bike stroller. We loved it. One day she was hanging out with us and went with us for one of those long family bike rides. She was riding along side me and she was about that age that girls begin to experience all kinds of hormonal and emotional stuff, and I tried to talk to her about it. It was SO AWKWARD! For both of us. It totally freaked her out. I guess, I freaked her out all the time back then though. She thought I was weird. But when I think about it - this was the time in my life that I remember feeling God tell me that she was important, that she needed me. I just picture this 10 or 11 year old strawberry red yet blond girl looking up at me from her bike and it melts my heart.

Fast forward you guys, and she's telling me my shoes are old lady shoes. I remember her sitting at the table at her mom and dads when we came to pick up the girls and although my purple dress was pretty, my shoes were old lady. That was the first day we dug through her closet together. This same summer = I think - she watched the girls during a week where we had no childcare. During this week my daughter dug for worms, rode horses and told her and her parents that her parents have sex, AND asked her how to make love. Let me explain - we have always been open with our kids and although we'd never used the word sex, E knew we loved each other. AND the make love thing - she wanted to make the WORD love with beads. We laughed so hard!

This was the season our relationship began to slowly blossom. I'll never forget getting a text from her mom asking me to stop at the bridal shop in town to look at Scotti's prom dress. Then we shopped for shoes together and had some hard conversations. For some reason I have never been afraid to ask her REAL questions. I'll never forget asking her one question and she was so quiet and I said "Well, that answered that!" and she laughed. After that, she began to tell me things. She even had me do her hair and makeup for prom that year. This gave me so much joy.

When graduation came around it didn't take much to get me involved in helping with the party. And we for sure were not going to miss her ceremony!

Since then...it's like she's just been a part of my life. Workouts, wall sit challenges, me learning to Snapchat, walks with serious talks, her stopping by my work with kettlecorn and to say hi, just hanging at our house or more so sleeping on our couch, and of course COFFEE.

I remember when we decided to have a baby. She was so excited. She could not hide her emotions when it came to this topic at all. If I would have known really how invested she was emotionally, I totally would have invited her to be at O's birth.

One day she said "I'm already trying to work things out so that I am home from break during the time you go back to work so I can watch O". I had given notice at my job and was only going back for a short time. This was such a blessing as now I didn't have to find care and we knew how much she loved him. We agreed that I would provide some Coaching to her instead of payment. This was all fine an dandy until the day my daughter called me at work a complete stressed mess. I was in the midst of pumping and she had called my work phone. Her stress stressed me and my milk just plain old stopped. So I stressed more. I think I texted Scotti asking what was going on, but I honestly don't remember much of that. She then asked if we could find someone else to watch O for the next 2 days. WHAT?!?!? More Stress. I called my husband in tears. He came home to her in tears and she just ran out the door. I was a mess. I was disappointed and hurt yet didn't want her to think in any way I didn't love her. But I knew she needed her space, so I let her have it....

And on that friends... I say, stay tuned for next week.